


Larry-oke 3D

by SRassier



Series: Larry-oke [3]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Birthday, Crack, Humor, Karaoke, Larry-oke is my life now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23935960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SRassier/pseuds/SRassier
Summary: It's the Hargreeves' birthday so how do they celebrate? Larry-oke of course!!
Relationships: Dolores/Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy), Klaus Hargreeves/Original Male Character(s)
Series: Larry-oke [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1717192
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	Larry-oke 3D

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the list of songs to fully enjoy this fan fic. If nothing else...PLEASE listen to I've Never Been to Me, not only because it's just an awful song that has to be experienced, but that part of the story will be sooo much funnier if you know what it is.
> 
> Lights by Journey  
> Dolores by Bing Crosby  
> You Should Be Dancing by The Bee Gees  
> I’ve Never Been to Me by Charlene  
> I Hate Myself For Loving You by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts  
> Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood  
> I Kissed a Girl by Jill Sobule  
> Fly Me to the Moon by Frank Sinatra  
> Say Say Say by Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson  
> Ghostbusters by Ray Parker Jr.  
> Miss You by The Rolling Stones  
> (I’ve Had) the Time of My Life by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes
> 
> Also, a quick note because when my sister (who pre-approves all Larry-oke related content) read this I confused her by using names of "regulars" when I did not identify them as such...
> 
> Emily, Nell, and Peter are regulars and Anthony and Stacy are bartenders.

It was Saturday night at Hannigan’s bar and that meant that Larry was raring to go with another fun filled karaoke party. Having already set up, he was sitting at the bar talking to Stacy waiting for 9 o’clock and the regulars to start arriving. “I thought Anthony was working tonight?”  
“No,” the woman behind the bar said. “He asked for the night off on account it’s his new boyfriend’s birthday.”  
“Really?” Larry thought back to Anthony and Klaus getting chummy last Saturday. “They’re already official?”  
“Yup.”

Larry took a sip of his water. “It would be so weird to have the same exact birthday as your siblings. What a bummer that must have been growing up.”  
“If even half the shit that Diego tells me is true…sharing a birthday was the LEAST shitty thing about their childhood.” 

As if on cue, the door to the bar flew open and in walked the Hargreeves. Klaus arm in arm with Anthony, talking his ear off and the rest following close behind. Larry couldn’t help but notice a few things. Half of the group looked much more nervous than usual, and Five had clearly been pre-gaming it tonight. The teen was walking a bit more sluggishly than his usual put together self and he had a huge scowl on his face. Larry couldn’t help but think that Delores looked nice though, dressed in a bright green sequin shirt, no doubt for the birthday boy. “My life has become so weird.” Larry mumbled to Stacy as he grabbed his water and headed over to greet the birthday clan.

“Hey guys! Why so many glum faces? Isn’t it your birthday?”  
Five and Diego huffed as Allison explained. “We’re trying something fun tonight. And some people…EVEN THOUGH THEY AGREED TO IT…are being a bit mopey about it.”  
“Ok, what’s going on?”  
“We decided that since we all love Larry-oke so much…” She winked at him, causing him to shake his head a blush a bit. “…our gifts to each other is a song. The catch is the gift recipient gets to pick the song that you are to sing!”  
Klaus chimed in. “I think it’s hilarious! We even picked names out of a hat to make it fair.”  
“Fair has nothing to do with it.” Five slurred from the corner. “Some of you are out to embarrass.”  
Diego looked at his smaller brother indignantly, “At least you didn’t have Klaus pick your name!”  
Klaus just smiled the widest grin he could manage. “Yeah Five, you dodged a bullet with that one” He turned his head for a moment which Larry knew meant he was listening to Ben before addressing Five again. “And Ben wants you to know, he’s not out to embarrass…he wants revenge.”  
“Revenge for what?”  
“You fell asleep while watching Dirty Dancing the other day and accidently hit the repeat button. I wasn’t around to stop it for him so he sat in that room to make sure you didn’t die in your sleep of alcohol poisoning watching Dirty Dancing a grand total of 4 times before Luther came home and put him out of his misery.”

Five just glared at where Ben probably was, and Larry tried to change the subject. “Speaking of…you started a bit early tonight, huh Five?”  
Five fixed his glare on Larry and for a moment, he thought, ‘this is it…I’m about to be murdered by a teenager.’ He was saved by Luther taking the heat off him. “He’s just pissed that while the rest of us are turning 31, he’s turning 15.”  
“Actually.” Five’s drunken speech struggled with the large number of syllables. “I’m turning 60. And if I want to get extra drunk, so be it.” He looked over to Delores and his eyes went a bit wide. “Maybe YOU can sleep on the couch!” Larry decided to cut his loses and start the show. He had become quite comfortable with all the eccentricities the Hargreeves had to offer but watching that lovers quarrel was one thing he was not ready for.

“Ladies and gentlemen…welcome to Hannigan’s bar and this is…”   
“LARRY-OKE!!”  
“That’s right, it’s your old pal Larry, ready to spin some tunes so you can spit some lyrics. There are books at a few of the tables, but if you don’t see something you want, let me know…I may just have a surprise up my sleeve for you!” 

“Alright, tonight we’re going to start off with something special. For those of you who are joining us for the first time,” Larry motioned over to the Hargreeves table where he found everyone giving him their full attention except Five who was whispering to Delores, undoubtedly trying to get himself out of the dog house. “This wonderful bunch of folks are the Hargreeves family and tonight…is their birthday. So, I would love it if you all could join me in wishing them the best, Larry-oke style.” And he led the bar in a loud but sincere rendition of Happy Birthday to You, and if he wasn’t afraid of getting stabbed, he would have teased Diego about getting a little teary eyed as the song finished.

“Alright, happy birthday you crazy kids! Anthony…you’re up first.” Anthony winked at Klaus and cruised up on stage to sing Lights by Journey and Larry couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Klaus mooning over the guy. Larry had a feeling that Anthony could be singing the Mr. Clean jingle and Klaus would think it was romantic.

The first Hargreeves on the birthday gift docket was Klaus. He bounced up on stage and in a sweet sing song voice declared, “this is for my baby brother, Five and his lady.” Five rolled his eyes but got up with Delores (Larry guessed they must have made up) and moved to the dance floor. They had an actually sweet (for the circumstances) slow dance to Klaus’ valiant attempt at Bing Crosby. Five didn’t seem to mind as the song choice, ‘Dolores’ appeared to be what really mattered anyway.

After the applause and what looked like an awkward one sided hug from Klaus to Five, Larry called up a group of girls who crowded around a couple of mics and one of them said through giggles, “This one is for Luther.” Luther’s head popped up at the sound of his name and his face turned a wonderful shade of red as the girls started singing ‘You Should be Dancing’ by the Bee Gees. He was surely embarrassed, but Larry knew he couldn’t resist disco so in a moment, the big man, Allison, Vanya, Klaus and Anthony were tearing up the dance floor to the 70’s classic.

“Woo!” Larry hollered as the girls rushed off stage to ask Luther to sign their Spaceboy posters they no doubt found on ebay. “I guess that’s why they call him ‘Number One!” Larry noticed Luther beam and Diego roll his eyes at that but decided that ‘hey, you can’t please everyone.’ So he just grabbed the next slip and immediately got excited. All night he was wondering what kind of fresh hell Klaus was going to put Diego through and it was time to find out. “Diego, come on up buddy…show ‘em how it’s done!”

Diego stomped on stage and Larry figured out at this point that they must have all shared the songs beforehand with their intended victims as Diego knew exactly what he was getting into and really wanted it over with. Larry pushed play and the slow, melodic sounds of the 70’s drifted throughout the bar as Diego put one of the microphones in a death grip and announced through gritted teeth, “This is for Klaus.”

Larry had only ever seen a handful of people perform this song in all the years he had been doing karaoke and each and every one of them had been sad looking middle aged women, so the site of Diego singing ‘I’ve Never Been to Me’ by Charlene was something he would never forget. If he had to pinpoint his favorite part of the song (and probably the night) it would be Diego, gripping the microphone so hard his knuckles were white, throwing Klaus a death stare and speaking the words, “Hey, you know what paradise is? It’s a lie. A Fantasy we create about people and places as we’d like them to be…but you know what the truth is? It’s that little baby you’re holding, and it’s that man you fought with this morning. The same one you’re going to make love with tonight. That’s truth, that’s love.” When the song was over, the crowd simply didn’t know what to do. People clapped but it appeared as though Diego didn’t want anyone acknowledging that he just did that, so it died down fairly quickly. 

Larry jumped in and decided to not make one of his usual jokes or comments due to the fact that he didn’t want any extra holes in him. “Allison!” She seemed to get his drift and hurried up on stage to grab the mic from his hand. He leaned in and whispered, “Save us all!” She laughed a bit and turned to the audience. “This song was requested by Diego so…happy birthday bro!” Larry cued up the song and Allison jumped into ‘I Hate Myself for Loving You’ by Joan Jett and as awesome as it was, Diego didn’t look like he cared all that much, he was just happy to be done with his ‘gift.’

Next up was Emily with Before He Cheats and then Larry saw another birthday slip. When she got done, he grabbed the mic and let the crowd finish clapping before calling Vanya to the stage. She was still a bit mousy but over the past few weeks, her confidence was growing. As he handed her the mic he whispered to her, “Two solo weeks in a row? Soon you’ll be taking over my job.” She smiled and averted her eyes before turning to the crowd. She brought the microphone to her lips and said, “This was chosen by my sister, Allison.” Allison smiled and gave a thumbs up as Vanya started to sing ‘I Kissed a Girl’ by Jill Sobule. When she finished, she headed back to the table to a bunch of wide eyed stares and open mouths. She simply sat back down in her chair and mumbled, “What? I don’t get it.”

Next up, Vanya picked ‘Fly Me to the Moon’ by Frank Sinatra for Luther to sing. At first, he seemed a tiny bit upset at the teasing song choice but soon forgot all about it as his fan girls from earlier crowded the stage and fawned all over him as he crooned.

Larry is asked by a newcomer to sing Say Say Say with him and he always likes to help people over come their stage fright, so he obliges. The guy was pretty good and as Larry looked at the next paper he thought that if the guy stays after the next singer...he may even become a regular.

“Aright, lets give it up for Hank! Excellent first performance Hank, and wonderful partner choice if I do say so myself.” He gets a spattering of laughs and continues. “Uh oh…who’s up next? You love him…I love him…he’s the ghost with the most…BEN!”

Klaus rushes the stage and does his usual ‘don’t freak out’ announcement followed by a “This was chosen by sweet cinnamon roll Luther. Happy Birthday big bro!” He takes his place on Delores’ stool and concentrates to make Ben visible. Larry still isn’t used to the site of a ghost on his stage but most everyone in the bar is either too drunk to notice, a regular who is used to the weirdness by now, or simply a native New Yorker who has seen stranger. Luther also gave out a joke song, but Ben was apparently ok with it. He belts out the Theme from Ghostbusters as if he wrote it.

Larry calls up Peter to sing Miss You by the Rolling Stones followed by some new chick trying to sing a Hall and Oats song but has a hard time reading the lyrics because she kept staring at where Ben may or may not be.

Throughout the night, Larry was watching Five and was starting to worry that he wouldn’t be able to even get on the stage, let alone sing. About an hour ago Stacy cut him off hoping he would sober up a little but when Larry called his name, he saw that she should have cut him off a bit earlier. 

He climbed the stairs on the side of the stage practically dragging Delores by her one arm and Larry scrambled to put the stool up front. Once she was situated, he went back behind his desk and started their song. To his surprise, even drunk, the kid was a pretty good singer. Larry knew he was starting to lose his mind because he couldn’t help but wonder if they had made up from earlier. Was Delores singing her part of ‘I’ve Had the Time of My Life’ sincerely or was she phoning it in?

He was answered at the very end of the song when Five motioned for him to come over to the two of them. As the outro to the song started to play, Five handed Delores to Larry and nearly fell on his ass as he hopped off the front of the stage. He turned around and held his arms open and as Larry looked at him dumbfounded, Five snapped. “Toss her!” Larry didn’t think, he just sort of lobbed her at Five and he caught her before lifting her up above his head. 

Klaus called out from their table “Holy shit! He did it!”  
“Damnit!” Diego swore as he, Luther, Allison and Vanya all pulled twenty dollar bills out of their pockets and slammed on the table in front of Five’s chair.   
Five sauntered over to the table, stuffed the cash in his pocket, unceremoniously dropped Delores to the floor…and passed out. 

Larry wrapped up the night and thanked everyone for coming. He was putting away the mics as the Hargreeves walked past him, Luther holding Five and Vanya holding Delores. As Klaus and Anthony were the last of the group to leave, Klaus called back to Larry, “Best birthday ever!”

**Author's Note:**

> Larry-oke will never die! As long as I can think of songs that would make me laugh if sung by certain members of the Umbrella Academy and I can come up with stupid names for sequels!
> 
> Suggestions are always welcome!
> 
> Special thanks to cherriesareneat for the Five/Delores song selection and the idea for Luther's fan girls!


End file.
